Three months later...

It's been several months since I last wrote. The last post was in the middle of February, and I attempted an entry in mid-March that simply would not allow itself to be published at the time. I think I had to stop writing because I was beginning to devour myself by ingesting too much content from the world around me. A portion of my intangible selfness entered a process of decay as my voiced perspective became increasingly tinged with negativity and hopelessness. Beauty became a caricature of the vital presence I hold it to be. It could no longer enter into the writing as the underlying yet rarely acknowledged hero of the epic fairy tale of life on earth. It's not that I no longer noticed, or ceased to strive to maintain consciousness of the warbly song of the red-winged blackbird, or the changeable moods of the mountains and the way they taunt the plains over which they dominate, or the shimmery intensity of people with intensely shimmering blue eyes - but certain forces were grappling to hold it at bay, struggling to stunt its voice. But I'm getting back on the horse- for if there is anything for which the future is asking, which the inevitable tomorrows demand, it is the preservation of beauty and the development of the capacity to differentiate between that which is ugly and that which is beautiful- including the states and sentiments of our own psyches. Much of what I was writing for the last entry landed more on the ugly side- but it ended mid-thought with my attempt to redeem the anger, the insensibility, with a glimpse of nature from running with the future: In the marsh, perched on cattails, Redwing Blackbirds called to me and my son, called enough we had to stop...